Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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