Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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