i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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