mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
