well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
