Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
