I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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