Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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