I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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