yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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