i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
