the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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