you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
