Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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