The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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