Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
