She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
