Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I made him laugh his dick is mine
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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