just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
