No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
