Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
