He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
