I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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