I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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