I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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