I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
