Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
