we'll go far in life on tits alone.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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