Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i dont even know how to be here
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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