he thought i was a dude.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I want a musical about memes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
