I am puke
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i love accidental penises.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
