he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
