soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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