There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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