It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
