you win again, gameday.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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