dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
