I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
