Quick, to the slutcave!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
