these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
