Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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