Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
literally had 100 drinks last night.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
