i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
