My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
