Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
