I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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