one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
