does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
