Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
