Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
