I hope mine doesn't look like that
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
